Journey
by Andie T
Summary: Letty, Jesse, Dom and an OFC(Jamie), AU, started a while ago, sorry guys. This is the latest and possibly last chapter. CH. 8 up.
1. Welcome to the neighborhood

Prologue  
  
*Disclaimer-type-shit-People.......really, now.....come on, do I really need to reiterate this shit again? I'm only doing this to cover my own ass, so........I do not own any of the characters from the film The Fast and the Furious, yadda, yadda, yadda. I do own Jamie and any other characters you don't recognize from the movie, duh.  
  
  
  
*Background- I'm really excited about this fic. I just got this idea about an original character, Letty, Jesse, and Dom in a different situation. It has almost nothing to do with the plot of TFATF other than the characters, a garage, and cars. So you're not totally lost. I'll try to give you some background out of my scatter-brained mind.  
  
-All the characters mentioned retain their personalities, but have different backgrounds (like family, history, lives, etc.) from the film  
  
-Jamie, the original character, has jet black, short, messy hair and a dark tan complexion, her race is not apparent, just cause I say tanned, doesn't mean she's white. You will find out her background later. She has dark brown eyes.  
  
-Jamie, Letty and Jesse are all very close friends, and they all work together at a garage.  
  
-Dom just moved to L.A. from NYC.  
  
-Jamie will be telling it all. This is her story. These are her trials. This is a portion of her life.  
  
Journey  
  
Chapter 1  
  
  
  
"Uno Out!......What!!!.....thank you!", Letty yells deeply. Jess and me groan and throw our cards down in defeat. I didn't even get to use my draw four wild card.  
  
"I told you that I would win.......didn't I tell you?...... don't I win every time?" she continues to gloat.  
  
"Yeah, cause you cheat," Jess tells her. I laugh. She rolls her eyes at him and they both smile.  
  
"One more game?" she asks deviously.  
  
"No," Jess and I answer her in unison, as I light a cigarette handing one to Jess. Every single time I light a cigarette two things pop into my head. One, I really need to quit, and two, that in about 4.5 seconds, Letty is gonna comment on my habit of choice.  
  
"Fucking cancer sticks!" She forces out some coughs. I roll my eyes. I stand up to stretch. It's yet another hot ass day in Orange Co. Just in case you haven't noticed yet, my name is Jamie, and I'm at work.......again. As long as I live, I will never understand why we have to work to earn money. It just fucking blows my mind. I'm being sarcastic. Sorry. I'm just so fucking lazy. I can hear my chubby ass boss coming outside to yell at us for taking too long of a lunch break. I put out my cigarette on the bottom of my boots and throw the butt in the trashcan. Never throw down a lit cigarette in a garage....ever, unless of course you're too lazy to commit suicide. I turn back around to see Jess and Letty picking up the Uno cards. I walk over to help them. We all stand and listen with our heads down as our boss, Morty, bitches at us for playing cards.  
  
"What the hell?......you sit here and play a damn game in plain sight of customers?.......what the hell are we paying you for?" he rants then walks off. We get in trouble constantly, and the only reason we're still employed, is our 'mad skills', as Letty would say. We walk back into the shop area and return to the jobs we were working on before lunch. Letty and Jess slide back under their designated cars and I walk through the shop to the painting room. It's at the end of the shop, away from all the other mechanics, away from all the complaining motorists wanting their cars done by the close of the business day. I can work in silence only interrupted by the hiss of the spray gun and the sweet sounds of System Of A Down. I turn up the stereo and I tighten the apron I never took off. I only put my goggles on when Morty pays me a visit. I turn on the gun and take a look at the drawing I have to replicate on the hood of this car. I have to do a ghost flame job on top of a pear green hood, but first I gotta lay down about 8 more coats of the sheer green paint.  
  
"I've done fucking ghost flames before.....don't understand why this prick wants them the exactly like the picture....son of a b....", I begin to mumble to my self as I test the gun on some cardboard, until Morty waddles in. I turn away from him and quickly put on my goggles. I don't feel like being bitched at some more today. I continue to look down trying to get an even coat to come out before I start on the car.  
  
"Jamie?!" he yells over the music. "Jamie?!....." He turns the stereo off. ".....What have I told you about this heavy metal rock alternative shit?.....It scares the customers!" he continues. I mouth the last part with him cause I hear it every damn day. I roll my eyes and face him. I turn my gun off. I can hear Letty yelling and laughing loudly in the shop.  
  
"What's up Morty?" I ask trying not to sound annoyed. Must everyone mess with me while I'm trying to paint?  
  
"I need you to come into the shop. We have a new mechanic, and I've introduced him to everyone but you, so come on," he turns and motions to me to follow.  
  
"But I don't even work in the shop half the time.....why do I need to meet 'him'?"  
  
He turns and gives me that 'Do you like having a job?' look, so I reluctantly take off my apron and goggles and follow him, because I do like having a job. I walk out into the shop rolling my eyes. Letty is standing in the middle of the shop with her arms around some tall bald guy. He's big........real big. She's laughing and rubbing his head in disbelief. She lets go and stands back from him and they begin to talk. I guess it's just another friend of hers from her old neighborhood. You'd be surprised how many people come from the east coast to move or visit and find her. Just about everyday I hear the words "This is a friend of mine from Brooklyn/Jersey/Queens/Poughkeepsie.....can you believe it?" leave Letty's smiling mouth. I look away from them and scan the shop for a new face. I find nothing other than Letty's ridiculously muscular friend who just happens to be wearing a tight white t-shirt. Is he trying to give me a coronary? Of course I don't show how attractive he is. I've become quite good at checking people out without their knowledge. Damn. Without missing a beat, and still checking this guy out, I turn to Morty.  
  
"So where is this mechanic made of gold that I just absolutely had to meet?" I deadpan.  
  
"He's right there." He points to him. Do I even have to say who he points to? Of course it's the bald guy. He looks like the lead singer of this band called Course Of Nature. Him and the "new mechanic/Letty's friend" are the only bald guys that actually pull off the look. Letty just keeps looking at the guy, shaking her head, and smiling. Morty makes eye contact with the guy.  
  
"Dominic, this is Jamie," he says pointing to me. "And Jamie this is Dominic Toretto, our 'mechanic made of gold', " he says sarcastically looking at me, pointing to Dominic.  
  
"Dom," he says putting his hand out. His voice sounds like he chews glass and swallows or like he's the illegitimate child of James Earl Jones and Sly Stallone. Rocky II Stallone, not Cliffhanger Stallone. It rumbles in my chest as I try to steady my hand to meet his.  
  
"Jamie," I say trying to regain myself. Girl, you're slipping, I think to myself as I shake his hand. I glance down at his structured hands. His nails are actually clean. My nails are never clean on weekdays. Not that I care about my nails, it's just that it's hard to attract a guy when you have more dirt under your nails than Yosemite. I shake his hand for what feels like an eternity. We pull our hands away and I look down.  
  
"Yeah, Dom just moved here from, NYC.........we....um...used to date....you know when I moved back to the city after high school," Letty tells me smiling. He smiles bashfully and looks down. His eyelashes put Tammy Faye to shame. She playfully nudges him with her elbow. "He's gonna come over later.......if that's okay with you...," she trails off, half asking me, half telling me. I have to explain. Letty is staying with me until she can find another place. Her boyfriend broke up with her about 3 weeks ago and left her with nowhere to live. Her family moved back to Brooklyn a year ago, so of course she's staying with me. Now, I know that may sound like I don't wont her staying with me, but that is the farthest thing from the truth. Besides the fact that she can cook better than Betty Crocker herself, I love her. She and Jess are my best buds, and I know that they'd die for me. Truth is I'd do the same for them. That's how we are. I've been without my family for the past few years, so my friends are my life. We're all we got. Jess offered her room and board at his place, but she opted for me due to the female factor. Jess was a little offended, but not really. Back to the question at hand.......are you kidding? I'm gonna have this man in my presence all night?  
  
"Yeah, that's cool," I tell her still not letting on to the fact that I would have no problem jumping this guy's bone right here in this oil spot. She smiles. By now we're the only ones still standing. Everyone else, including Jesse, has returned to their jobs.  
  
"Well, Dominic, if you'll follow me, we can be on our way, and they can get back to work...," Morty glares at Let and me.  
  
"Nice to meet you," he nods. My legs almost collapse from under me and my heart rate increases as.....Dom...walks away. I nod to him, not being able to form actual words at the moment. What the hell is wrong with me? Once he's out of sight I smack myself on the forehead and then I pinch Letty's arm.  
  
"Ahhh!.....what!?" she asks confused. I point in the direction that Dom and Morty walked off in. "Ohhhhhh.......yeah....he's hot isn't he?.......he's changed a lot since I saw him last though," she tells me grinning. I just shake my head and return to the painting room. I don't like it when guys effect me like this. I don't like not being in control of my.........my heart....beat. I return all systems to normal, meaning, putting the stereo, my apron, and goggles back on. I pick up the gun and go back to trying to achieve an even coat on the test cardboard. Great.....my fucking hand is shaking again. I have bad nerves. I reach in my pocket and pull out a pill. I grab a bottle of water and down the nerve pills that are supposed to calm me. Now, I have to explain again. I'm a mellow person by nature, but I have this nerve disease that I cant even fucking pronounce.  
  
It causes my right hand to shake when I get nervous or a little anxious. It's a bitch to deal with, but it ain't life threatening or nothing. I just can't paint until the meds kick in. It sucks cause when I forget to take the drugs, this happens. I have to stand here for at least half an hour and wait for my fucking hand to stop shaking. I put the gun down and hop up on the counter. I grab an old issue of Import Tuner and flip through. Letty always gets with the best looking guys. They're usually assholes, but they look good. Like her last boyfriend, the one that kicked her out, was beautiful. He was Latin. He had brown silky hair, beautiful skin, brown eyes, and an accent that could cut through butter. The only thing was that he knew it. He was so damn conceited, he needed an extra seat on flights just for his ego. She found the bastard fucking on the kitchen island. Actually, we found him fucking on the kitchen island. We came in from shopping and there we were greeted by 'oh's' and 'ah's' coming from the stovetop. Letty went flip mode and I helped her beat the bitch out the front door followed by her clothes. It wasn't like brutal or nothing, but she got the message. Paco, I swear that's his actual birth name, tried to explain how he was just too handsome to be with one woman. Of course Letty went off again, but she took care of him alone that time. Given her history with men, I figure Dom is an asshole too, but I wonder why she was so happy to see him. I guess I'll find out tonight. Even if he is an asshole, at least I'll have some eye candy for the evening.  
  
  
  
Ok.....everybody tell me what you think. Be honest, I have pretty tough skin, and I need the advice. Should I continue?.......Should I keep my skanky hands off the fucking keyboard? Let me know, and if there are any questions or something let me know. I love you guys! Oh and I sure am glad ff.net got it back together!  
  
  
  
~Andie 


	2. One of us

Chapter 2  
  
  
  
  
  
I arrive at my..........our loft at around eight. I had to make up for the lost time while I was shaking. I get up to the door and fiddle with the keys as I pray to God that Letty has cleaned up a little bit. We left the place in a wreck getting ready for work this morning. I really don't want this guy to think I'm a slob, even though I am. I open the door and I'm hit with the heavy stench of cooked meat.  
  
"Fajitas," I say to myself and smile. I put my jacket and keys down on the chair in the foyer. I walk into the.......well I guess you could call it the kitchen/living room area. The thing about my apartment is that, the only real defined rooms are the bedrooms and the bathrooms. Everything else is just filled with big open areas that sorta run into each other. The place was about to be condemned when I found it. The owners renovated it, but before they did they offered it to me when it was still shitty. I saw its potential, well that, and the fact that I was tired of living on Jess's couch. It's so beautiful. There are these windows that are at least 12 feet high that span a whole 2 sides of the place. It has an awesome overview of the coast, but it's still inside the city. Everybody always asks me how I can afford such a posh place. I tell them that I run a small business on the side. That usually gets me a nod then they walk away thinking the worst. Truth is that the owners are family and friends from the islands. They gave me a good deal, because they knew me as a child, and it doesn't hurt that they're good personal friends with my parents. It's big and so far they haven't rented out either of the other 2 floors, so we pretty much have the run of the place. No nosey neighbors to deal with yet. Rooftop parties when we feel like it. It's entirely too much freedom for a young adult and her two friends. I walk in and Letty is standing at the counter, beer in hand, chopping peppers and onions.  
  
"Fajitas," she smiles and nods, reading my mind and my smile. She sniffs between gulps of beer. I look over at Jess who is engaging in an intense game of Crazy Taxi. Now Jess doesn't live here, but he might as well. He'll end up staying tonight if he drinks. He'll stay even if he doesn't. Jess lives on the coast..........on the beach. He stays at his parents' beach house. Yes, you heard correctly, I said beach house. His parents are ridiculously wealthy. I didn't say Jess was wealthy, his parents. They wanted him to get out and be on his own, but they couldn't stand the thought of their baby helpless and homeless. Their solution was to give him their beach house, pay the bills, but still make him work for everything else he wanted. Jess wasn't gonna work. He figured he could just go home to eat, and he already had a car, but Letty and I convinced him to get a job with us at Treadmark's. He is a genius when it comes to cars. His mind is like a machine. He remembers everything about them, color, make, model, you name it, and can just spit out stats and all kinds of shit. Letty and me just listen only stopping to wipe the drool from our gaping mouths. It's amazing, and his parents dont even know how talented he is. They always treat him like he's "special" cause he has ADD. They act like he's retarded or something just cause he's hyper. They've done him like that since he was young. Everybody has. I remember the day Letty and I be-friended the lonely little blonde boy sitting in a patch of grass on the far end of the playground. We'd never seen him before. We found out later it was because his parents put him in the 'special' classes with all the slow kids because that's what they thought he was......slow. He sat picking at some clovers as pigtail clad Letty and I got up the courage to go over and investigate. We were all in the 5th grade. Letty walked right up to him and demanded that he shake her hand. Frightened, Jesse did as she said. She introduced herself then me. He told us his name, then Letty told him that we were all gonna be friends from now on. It was that simple. No one defies Letty, not even now. From that moment on we were 3 peas in a pod. We only played with each other. We didn't get to see all that much of Jess till summertime. He was still in those classes and they didn't let them out much. Well to make a long story shorter..........In Jr. High, his parents put him on Ritalin, but he started to lose too much weight so they finally switched him to Adderall, which is what he's been on for the past seven years. It calms him down so he can concentrate.  
  
I walk over to the fridge and grab a beer. Just as I'm about to close it Letty yells and scares the living shit out of me.  
  
"No!.......we're gonna do quarters and body shots later!" she yells at me taking my beer and placing it back in the fridge.  
  
"I can do shots later if I drink a beer," I defend myself with my brow furrowed.  
  
"Dont make that face," she winces then turns around. "I want everybody sober before we start," she finishes with her back turned to me. I pick up her beer on the counter and take a sip of it.  
  
"You're drinking," I whisper smugly. She turns around and gives me an evil look. I back away and retreat to the couch to pester Jess. Like I said, you don't defy Letty. I mean yeah, I can hold my own, but Letty can drink Irish men under the table. Letty will still be sober after a case of beers. My stomach starts to flip flop when I remember the reason we're having a night full of fajitas and Jose Cuero. I sit and fidget on the couch next to Jess as he yells obscenities at the screen. I wonder what he'll be like after a few shots. Will he still be all bashful like he was today at the shop? What a kick ass name.......Dominic......Dom. It sounds so fucking east coast, Italian, mob boss-like. I wonder if he knows anybody in the mob. Oh, God if he's Italian.......then he, more than likely, has a big.......  
  
"Fuck!" Jess yells and interrupts my thoughts. He throws down the joystick and turns the game off before returning to the couch to pout. That kid and video games. Yeah, we all take our games serious but guys are so much more intense. I just shake my head as he lights a cigarette. I bolt from the couch when I realize that I just came home from work. This guy is gonna walk in pass out from my stench of paint, fumes, and sweat. I run into the bathroom and start the shower. I quickly get in not even bothering to close the door. What's the point? I mean it's not like Jess and Let haven't seen all I got. Same for them. A bare cheek, or a boob doesn't even phase us anymore. I finish and grab a towel from the linen closet in the hall when I hear a familiar deep voice.  
  
"Shit," I whisper to myself as I scurry to my room. I dry off and fling my towel to the floor. Great........I get to make an entrance. That was sarcasm folks. I hate being the latecomer. I quickly slip on some underwear and a black sports bra. I take a look at my extensive wardrobe in my closet.......sarcasm again. I pull out the most comfortable pair of gray, cotton, drawstring pants ever made and slip them on. I go over to my dresser and pull out one, of a thousand wife beaters that I practically live in, and put it on. I quickly look in the mirror in disgust. At least I'll be comfortable. I walk out of my room and down the hall. I stop right before I get to the end and take a deep breath before walking into the kitchen type area.  
  
"There she is," Letty smiles.  
  
"Hey," Dom says to me smiling.  
  
"Hey," I smile back. He's wearing a black long sleeve button up shirt tucked into black slacks cinched with a silver buckled belt.  
  
"I feel a bit overdressed," he smiles looking at me up and down. I almost begin to blush.  
  
"Oh.....you're fine," I stumble over my words. Jess shoots me a smile. "I mean......you look fine........umm your clothes are........really nice." I finally blurt out embarrassed. He smiles bigger and Letty rolls her eyes. He turns to Letty and offers to help. She puts him to work toasting tortilla shells. I go over to Jess, who is in what we like to call the "dining nook". It's really just a bay window that we stuck a table and some chairs in but we really like saying the word 'nook'. I help him put out the plates and cups. You dont really need silverware for fajitas. Every now and then I sneak a peek at Dom. He looks so damn good in black. His skin is just this perfect color and it looks so amazing under black cloth. I know I'm only torturing myself by entertaining these thoughts. As much as I hate to admit it, there's no way in hell he would ever go for someone like me. Just by looking at him, I figure he's into the beautiful, slutty type. I'm not saying that Letty is slutty, but he probably had a momentary lapse in judgment. He met her, and despite the fact that she wasn't his type, he went for her anyway. I know, I'm a horrible person. I'm passing judgment on the guy and I dont even know him, but doesn't everybody? From the stranger you pass on the street to the person sitting across from you on the bus, we all pass judgment and figure types before we learn about a person. Maybe I'm just trying to set myself up for the disappointment that he's not the charming, intelligent, beautiful man I want him to be. Maybe he'll be everything and more. Maybe he'll hook back up with Letty tonight and leave me sulking on the couch with Jesse and a bottle of Vodka. Maybe I need to shut up and have a drink.  
  
We finish setting the table and I walk back into the kitchen. I go into the fridge and sneak a beer behind Letty's back. What she dont know can't hurt her. Just as I pop the top off the bottle Jess rats me out from the nook.  
  
"She's got a beer, Let!" he yells. Dom starts laughing and I shoot Jess a look. He smiles smugly.  
  
"If I can't, neither can you," he tells me. Without even looking at her I return the beer to the fridge.  
  
"It's ready," she announces to us. We all help carry the food over. We sit at the round table with Letty across from Dom and Me across from Jesse. I say grace and we begin eating. We're all quiet for the first few minutes as we stuff our faces.  
  
"So.....Dom........you just moved here from where?" Jesse mumbles between bites.  
  
He swallows then answers. "New York," he nods. Letty dishes out more steak and veggies onto Dom's plate.  
  
"And you and Let used to date?" Jess asks again. Dom looks shyly at Letty.  
  
"Yeah," he nods.  
  
"Were you a grease monkey there?" I ask taking a bite of my heaping fajita.  
  
He wipes his mouth and swallows again. "Yeah.....I worked in a family owned shop with my uncles and cousins," he answers. I nod.  
  
  
  
"So........Dom....," Jess starts again.  
  
"Jess, stop with the questions," Letty tells him.  
  
"I'm just making conversation," he tells her.  
  
"It's okay Letty," Dom tells them both. "Go ahead Jesse," he tilts his head to him.  
  
"Oh.....I didn't really have a question," he says slowly and embarrassed. We all roll our eyes and shake our heads. Well, the rest of the meal was not as eventful as the first few moments. Dom started to open up and told us more about himself. The guy can bench press 310..........310. That's like 3 of me. He told us about New York and he and Letty talked about when they were together. I just sat back and listened to his voice, trying not to stare at the exposed skin lurking under the opening in the top of his shirt. He talked about cars, which got us all pretty hyped up. We were past done eating, but we just sat, talking, laughing. Like he was one of us, we just immediately felt comfortable around each other. I smile slightly at the thought of him being a new addition to our daily routines. As the conversation slows to a halt, we begin to clean up, picking up our dishes and carrying them to the sink. As the guys.................I'm already calling them "the guys"..............as Dom and Jess weasel out of doing the dishes, by running to play video games, Letty and I stand at the sink, rinsing for the dishwasher. She nudges me lightly.  
  
"What?", I ask putting some cups in.  
  
"I noticed you staring at Dom", she turns the faucet off.  
  
"Letty, I swear.....it was only because I really liked.....his necklace...and.....", I start to deny my wandering eyes.  
  
"J.........it's okay", she tells me smiling.  
  
"That was a long time ago.........a long time ago", she puts a dish in the machine.  
  
"I was gonna tell you.....", she looks over her back to check that the guys are still in game mode, and then clears her throat, " that you should.........go for it", she says softly, raising an eyebrow. She knows me all to well.  
  
"Dom?", I ask innocently.  
  
"No, Jesse.........yes Dom!", she spits sarcastically. I go back to putting diishes in the machine.  
  
"No", I tell her coldly. I dont have the best record with guys. I just cant seem to keep away from all the selfish-domanant-pigheaded assholes in the world. I'm just not the type of girl that nice decent guys, with all their teeth, flock to.  
  
"And why not?", she asks trying to keep her voice low. I see the guys getting up. I shove the last dish in the machine and slam the door shut.  
  
"We'll talk about it later", I whisper to her. She looks confused for a moment until Jess walks in and sits on the kitchen island. I look at a sulking Jess, and a grin on Dominic's face.  
  
"He kicked your ass?", I ask Jess sympathetically. He just rolls his eyes and smiles.  
  
"Well, enough chit-chat.......let the games begin!" Letty yells, pushing everyone back into the dining nook. I lag behind and give her a look.  
  
"What?", she asks cluelessly.  
  
"Let the games begin?.........Chit-chat?..............lame ass", I laugh at her. She gives me an evil look. We all sit down at the table with all my favorite guys........Jack, Jim, and Jose. Let, breaks out the shot glasses and pulls a silver coin from her pocket. My mouth drops. She would do this to me.  
  
"First game..........Jamie's fav", she smiles at me, I flip her off.  
  
"Quarters........and for that......You go first", she grins, sliding the coin to me. I look at her with disgust. She knows how bad I am at quarters. Leave it to my best friend to embarass the hell out of me in front of an exceptionally beautiful man, that I just met. I take the quarter relunctantly and hold it for a second. I position it between my thumb and index finger. I look at the glass then try to figure the half-way point on the table. I take a deep breath as I see Letty grinning like an idiot out of the corner of my eye.  
  
"Here goes nothing", I mumble to myself, almost inaudible to anyone else. Yeah, here goes nothing. 


	3. Let me off the ride

Journey 3  
  
*Let me off the ride.*  
  
  
  
Is it liquor before beer or beer before liquor? I'm not sure, but either way, mixing wasn't a good idea, because now I'm lying on the floor with a dabilitating case of vertigo. If I stand, will I really be standing, or will I be doing a headstand? I remember almost nothing from the night that brought me to this morning. It was all a warm tingling blur. My throat has been seared raw as I swallow, sunlight pricking at my eyes even through closed lids. I roll over to the comfort of the cold wood floor and lay my flushed cheeks against the dusty planks. I make a mental note to sweep, or better yet, ask Letty to sweep as soon as possible. The moment I sigh in relief and overall appreciation of being low to the ground given that gravity is not my friend right now, I hear footsteps and then a shadow towers over me.  
  
"Comfortable?", a deep voice echoes throughout the space, hitting every corner and surface in the room before filling my ringing ears.  
  
"Very", I slur back blowing dust particles askew with the corner of my mouth that's not pinned under my head. I continue laying, not able to very much else, and he squats then lays on the floor next to me, mimicking my position, with his arms along his sides and his head turned to face me.  
  
"I had fun", he smiles, his eyes blinking sparatically. I'm almost compelled to ask him if 'sexy' is his middle name. His voice is like gravel being crunched beneath tires, and, it may be the alcohol still impairing my mind, but he sounds even lower and rougher than yesterday, with his NY accent flowing heavily. I could marry this man just to hear his morning voice.  
  
"Me too...I think", I blink slowly and swallow in an attempt to stop the rotation of the room. His eyes flutter close and he lets out a lowly sigh that could pass as a growl, smiling. I brave the dizziness to sneek another glance at him, with a freshly grown sprinkling of stubble peppered across his face and head. His eyelashes hint of a dormant boyish innoscense, as they're almost long enough to touch his cheeks. Suddenly his eyes fly open, and even with delayed reflexes, my eyes fly shut as if they were the other end of the see-saw. He chuckles lightly and the vibrations run through the floor, buzzing the side of my face.  
  
"I have to go", he shifts and I can feel his fingertips rest on my arm. I stiffle a man-starved moan in my swelling throat.  
  
"Okay", I whisper, finally looking into his alluring, half-sleep eyes, and decide that this is the face I want to wake up to every morning of my life. Christ in heaven, is there no end to his beauty?  
  
He grins to one side of his mouth, baring his blindingly white canines before licking his lips.  
  
"You need anything?......some asprin?...club soda?...a stomach pump?", he grins still, raising a sexy eyebrow. Forgive me if I drive the word 'sexy' deep into the ground, but believe me when I tell you that he exudes raw sexuality in every movement and gesture, and is just generally, well, sexy. I promise this has nothing to do with the fact that I've been that I've been without companionship for over two years, except Letty and Jess. It also has nothing to do with my diminishing virginity. Granted, it didn't start diminishing until HE came along, but...well, look at him.  
  
"Nah......I'm good", I murmer rather late given that I lost more than a few brain cells last night, and the surviving couple are working overtime to keep me breathing, thinking, and talking in unison. I smile back at him, trying to keep the drool pooling inside my cheek at bay by closing my mouth tightly.  
  
"Okay then....I'll give you guys a call....haven't partied like that in a while", he licks his already moist lips again, almost causing my mouth to pop open. I swallow hard just in case he decides to pull another one of those on me.  
  
"I'd get get up to walk you out....well, at least crawl you out, but I'm not sure I'm ready for that just yet...I still feel like I'm riding the Tea Cups at Disney Land", with all my strenght I raise mey head slightly off the floor to watch as he stands. He, all too quickly, pulls down the hem of his shirt that had ridden up as he stood, and I silently curse him for being so aware of himself and for wear such a long shirt while having such toned hips.  
  
"Don't worry bout it, he stretches, but not like normal people. He thrusts his arms out in front of him, never once letting his tailored shirt rise. I frown inwardly.  
  
"Later, babe", he smiles down at me cocking his head to one side to see me straightly. My already struggling heartrate soars into cardiac arrest territory at his address of me. It's such a personal pet name, and straight- up flirty. A man...excuse me, a Greek god, flirting...with me? Oh, the alcohol is definately still running strong through my system. A fit of low repetative giggles attack me, I guess out of nervousness or flattery...or maybe even deliriousness.  
  
"Mmm...later, dude", I smile back, sucking in air through my now dusty nostrils between giggles. I hear him walk into the front hallway. I then hear rustling cloth and assume he's getting his coat, before the door the door opens then closes. A small draft of wind snakes past me, spraying dust in my face before I pass out once more, feeling giddy. 


	4. The Best Glass

Journey 4  
  
~The Best Glass~  
"No...miraculous is my presence right now.....I'm blessed to have life in my body, given the toxic amounts of alcohol I was clearly forced to consume", I point a blaming finger at Letty, as we stand at the edge of the shore, waiting for Jesse. We shiver as a cold night-warning wind blows past us, our boards tucked tightly under our arms, wet suits and board shorts helping a little but not much. Why is it that rich people own the best stretches of beach? We're only privileged to be friends with their son, so we get the best glass...the biggest, most majestic waves ever made.  
  
"Where the fuck is he?", Letty growls, shivering, turning in a circle, looking towards his house.  
  
"Why'd you let me embarrass myself like that?", I ignore her, and dodge the swinging edge of her board as she turns back to face me.  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about", she answers with mock innocence, and I proceed to shove her. She stumbles back laughing heartily.  
  
"That wasn't funny...I can't even remember what happen", I stare bluntly.  
  
"You had fun...that's what happen....Dom was so lit, I doubt he even remembers half the shit you done", She states nonchalantly.  
  
"HALF the shit?!", I inquire further, but Jesse emerges from his porch and both of our attentions turn to him.  
  
"S'bout time!", Letty yella at his lanky form hobbling down the beach towards us with a board tucked under his arm.  
  
"Sorry....it was just a little harder getting my body up this morning....well....evening", he corrects himself, sticking the front edge of his board in the welcoming sand, and beginning to wax the top surface. As if we were all thinking the same thought, at that exact moment we all became silent, and stilled, turning to look at the water.  
  
"It looks kinda rough", I say half nervous, more aware of my mortality, watching at least 8 feet of water break, sending spray behind it, and foam in front.  
  
"Beautiful", Jesse, pauses mid stroke of the wax bar, never taking his blue eyes from the aqua sea.  
  
"Let's be careful, ok?", Letty, looks over at both of us, but neither are looking back.  
  
"We ALL go home tonight....no one here to impress, OK?", she says a little louder, her voice never breaking into a shout. Jesse and I both, seem to finish our inner conversations, and turn to nod at her.  
  
With that we all pick up and paddle out. At the risk of quoting a line right out of a cheesy comedy drama, these are the best times of my life. In the middle of the ocean with the only two people in my life that matter, everything's bigger than us, but we feel so much greater. Nothing else matters. I swear if they knew how much I loved them, they'd think I was a girl. I just got sucked into the barrel, and I'm wiping out. Underneath the water, waiting for the suction of the wave to release me, I have thoughts of my other family. Memories of the islands...I shake my head, and push my arms and legs in a downward motion pushing for the distorted surface, my lungs burning. Trapped air bubbles racing along side me, and fluming out my nostrils, I emerge, gasping for air, chuckles and laughter all around me.  
  
"Ya know, if ya'd stop smoking, you wouldn't have the lung capacity of a two year old anymore", Letty mocks, as I reach and arm out for my already surfaced board, breathing heavily.  
  
"You okay?", Jesse smiles, atop his board, reaching over and helping me to my own. I nod, and we all break into laughter, straddling the planks, our legs disappearing into the blue, gentle waves rocking us from underneath.  
  
"Well, while you were over there reenacting a Rescue 911 episode, we caught some nice pipe...so", Letty jokes, her way of expressing concern, without actually being obvious. I snort a little in laughter, and turn to Jesse, whose eyes are in the horizon.  
  
"Yeah, we can head in....I'm done snorkeling today", I laugh, we both are now looking at Jesse quizzically.  
  
"Jess?.....you want us to just bring you a sleeping bag", Letty laughs.  
  
"One more....and I'll be in", he starts paddling away. I look back and see a nice one setting up in the distance. He always spots them so early, before their even waves, when they're just another ripple. Letty and I begin to paddle ashore, slowly, looking back to watch Jess, every now and then. I look up and notice someone standing on the beach. Letty, beside me, stops, to watch Jesse ride. I turn and stop, seeing him ride across then out of the barrel, with his hands in the air, declaring greatness, parallel to us, but farther over.  
  
"Way to go, bro!", Let, yells, smiling ear to ear.  
  
"Letty, there's someone on shore", I stare at the figure.  
  
"Huh?", she turns to me, then follows my stare.  
  
"Who is that?', we both ask each other in unison, then seeing Jesse walk up to him, already on the beach.  
  
"You don't think it's...", I leave it open, not really believing he'd actually be here.  
  
"Totally", she laughs, as we begin to paddle again. 


	5. Gorgeous?

Journey 5  
  
~Gorgeous?~  
Reaching land, I hop off my board preparing myself for impending embarrassed awkward silence. Stepping off, my feet now encrusted in damp sand, my heartbeat is strangely higher than normal. Calm down...he's just a Greek god with soul bearing windows for eyes and biceps the size of tree trunks. He and Jesse finish their conversation with trailing laughs, and turn to us. His stare seems to eat me alive, as he stands like a museum statue, his arms folded across his chest.  
  
I finally raise my eyes to meet his as I trudge towards them, my arms and legs burning with weakness from paddling the quarter mile to shore. While his seemingly sincere smile eases me, it also causes increased blushing in my already flushed face.  
  
"Hey gorgeous", his voice husky and grated, roars lowly, and I can barely tell the difference between him and the ocean behind me. Did he just....Is he.....?  
  
"Excuse me?", I wipe dripping water from my forehead, trying to stop my voice from cracking like Peter Brady, as I ask the question. Letty and Jesse both tighten in an attempt to hide their laughter.  
  
"I said.....hello....gorgeous", he repeats himself slower, and lower. A chill runs through me, settling at the base of my spine, as I stare at him blankly, only causing him to smile wider. In my daze, I end up letting my board slip and try to fathom why anyone would greet me as 'gorgeous'. Of course, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum are now doubled over in audible laughter, and my suspicions are confirmed that something is being kept from me.  
  
"We'll meet you back at the house", they both begin scurrying away from my questioning looks, and running towards Jesse's, leaving Dom and I alone.  
  
Silent, I look away nervously, as he bends and retrieves my fallen board. He sticks its head end in the sand with a sudden jerk of his arms, and props one arm on it's tail.  
  
"You looked good out there", he says softly his voice blending with the sounds around us. He's like a snake charmer, and his tone is coaxing me to meet his gaze.  
  
"Not really....you must have been looking at Letty", I joke, shaking my head, taking a deep breath.  
  
"No, you looked good, really", he insists, stepping closer to me. Unconsciously I begin to step backwards while mumbling incoherently. Yes, I can't take a complement. Suddenly I can't feel the ground beneath my back foot. Yes, I know it's happening, and no I can't stop it. I only hope that when I hit the ground it'll swallow me whole and dump me into hell so that I won't have to suffer through another distressing moment in front of him ever again. Fuck, this is gonna suck. Of course things begin to move in slow motion, I guess to prolong my suffering. I can see his face contorting, as I throw my arm out beside me, trying to at least fall on my side and not my ass. The last thing I see before shutting my eyes and praying to get knocked unconscious, is him take one step towards me. My fingertips even graze the sand before his arms hook under mine and stable me. My eyes are still closed. Why'd he have to go and be valiant? I mean, I'm almost sure I saw that portal opening up for me. He holds me flush against his solid body, as I just hold my breath and pray to die. God, please just...an aneurysm, a stroke...anything....anything at all. As if I didn't make an ass of myself enough last night, I have to go and stumble and fall...on a relatively level surface?  
  
"You okay?", he half-laughs lowly, almost whispering, pulling back to look at my scrunched face.  
  
"Yeah", I whisper almost inaudible, nodding my head furiously.  
  
"Okay...I'm gonna let you stand free now, you sure?", he laughs a little.  
  
"Mmm Hmm", I nod again. He steps back smiling as I finally open my eyes and sigh rolling my shoulders back. Okay, be normal, just act like that didn't happen.  
  
"So.....why are you here?", I ask not even thinking.  
  
"I mean....that didn't come out right", I sigh blinking hard rubbing my forehead.  
  
"I came to see you", he states like it's no big mystery, like I should've known. My resident cynic kicks in before I can try to even grasp why he just said that.  
  
"Bullshit", I laugh, but stop upon seeing his unamused, confused face.  
  
"I mean...that's funny Dom, but you don't have to.....so, what's up?", I begin then stop myself to turn the convo over.  
  
"You wanna go out tonight?", he doesn't miss a beat, totally ignoring me.  
  
"We are out", I say seriously. It's not that I'm clueless, I just have a real tight hold of reality and there's no way a delicious man such as he, would ask me to 'go out', in this generations vernacular, meaning on a date. There's no way, I won't even entertain the thought. I won't. 


	6. Clowns and Queens

Journey 6  
  
~Clowns and Queens~  
"Hold still..one more clip", Letty whispers, her arms trapping me, wrapped around my head loosely, her hands jabbing the pointed end of a hair clip into my scalp, as we stand in front of the mirror.  
  
"Ouch.that's skin, not hair", I wince watching in disgust as she stands on tiptoes behind me.  
  
"Be still.stop squirming!", she yells, stilling her hands until I stop moving. With a soft snap the clip pulls at single strands of hair, making the roots itch and sting a bit.  
  
"Let, I look like a junior high student going to her first dance..why don't we throw some glitter on my face to round it all off", I sulk sarcastically.  
  
"You look fine", she rolls her eyes, and we both stare blankly at me in the mirror. I shift my legs in the way to short dress Letty insisted I wear. The synthetic material rustles loudly. This is a nightmare.  
  
"I look like a early 80's reject, that's trying to hide my lesbian tendencies with gelled short hair", I state flatly as Letty blows a quick stream of air through her nostrils.  
  
"Stop trying to find things wrong with you, you look fine!", she yells closing her eyes and hopping onto the counter.  
  
"Come here", she reaches behind her, and I go to stand between her legs.  
  
"Not too much, okay.I don't wanna look like I'm trying too hard", I pull back for a second staring at the sponge dripping with flesh colored liquid coming towards my face.  
  
"Okay", she blinks hard, annoyed. She begins layering my face with make-up, and try to relax, the cold liquid being spread across my cheeks and chin. In short wisps and delicate wrists flicks she moves to the outside, I guess blending. I stare at her face, scrunched in a concentrated scowl. She never wears make-up, so why do we even have any?  
  
"Where'd you get all this from?", I try to mumble without moving my mouth or face.  
  
"I used to wear this shit.back when I cared", she concentrates on one spot and it feels like she trying to rub a hole into my skin. I sigh, and wait with child like impatience. Why didn't I just blow him off? At least I wouldn't be standing here like a prize-winning cow being prepped for the slaughterhouse.  
  
"Close your eyes", she says softly, throwing the sponge into the sink, and scooting further forward on the counter. I close them quickly, seeing the little arrowed wand heading towards my eyes. It's not necessarily a bad thing to have a tight grip on reality. There are people, guys more specifically; that you see, and you know, that there's a snowball's chance in hell of you ever being with someone that gorgeous. You deal with it, it's the reality, it's the way things work. Today, Dom just fucked up the whole system. I keep getting the notion that this is going to turn out to be one of those cruel pranks that always inevitably happen in teen movies. In the same thought, facts are presenting themselves to be contradictory. From what I know, and of course what Letty tells me, he's not a psychopath or chronic liar. He's not a cruel person; he has a heart and a loyal respect for women. Forgive for being out of date, but he's a dream, with a body to match. This isn't happening. It can't be true. It just can't. I'll see his flaw, a week into it, and he'll be totally unattractive. All I have to do is wait it out. He'll have a sixth toe, or a shoe fetish, or a doll collection, and I can laugh. I'll laugh in Let's face and follow that with a big 'I told you so'. I'll then go back to being all alone, content with knowing that he wasn't perfect, that I set the cosmos back on the right track, never to be tampered with again. My face goes limp and I roll my eyes under closed lids. That was pathetic. He could genuinely like me, and I would miss out on loving someone, just because I don't feel good enough? I clench my jaw, and wish more than anything that my opposing thoughts would get together and decide on a goddamn point of view so that my sanity could stay intact.  
  
Smudging dark powder onto my eyelids, my head bobs back and forth at her inconsistent pressure. I will my mind to stop being fickle, and at least be neutral for tonight. Stop thinking so much about it, a third thought chimes. Let it happen, go from there. Where that came from I'm not sure, but it's the best idea my brain has generated in a long time.  
  
"M'kay...you want liner?", she finally pulls back, snapping the little plastic case of shadow close. I look at her, then shift my head to the side, looking at her artwork in the mirror. I have to make a conscious effort to keep my mouth closed and my face neutral. I know understand why she probably stop wearing make up. Besides the one pound of extra weight now sitting on my almost closed lids, I can't tell that I even have eyeballs. Unless I want moonlight as a drag queen tonight, I'm gonna have to get Letty out of here.  
  
"Nah, I'm good", I state quietly, still looking in the mirror, excess dust falling into my eye each time I blink.  
  
"You sure?.mascara?", she asks again, giving my face quick once over.  
  
"Positive", I answer quickly, stepping back a little. Putting my finger up to the disaster area, I pull back a dark gray fingertip. She hops off the counter with a shrug, beginning to walk out of the bathroom, and I can tell she's convinced that I look just great.  
  
"Thanks Let...I really appreciate this", I stop her, sincerely. I'm not talking about the make up and hooker attire, I'm thanking her for never seeing anything bad about me, for always being my self esteem. With a wry smile she rolls her eyes and leaves me to clean up the storm. Before I can even reach for a tissue to dab some of this stuff off, she appears in the door frame again.  
  
"He's here, so hurry up", she says quickly before darting back off, her voice trailing off as she walks back to wherever they are. I take a deep breath and look at myself again in the mirror. I can't go out like this. It's one thing to want to impress him, but it's just wrong to embarrass him by having to take out a clown. Gathering my thoughts, I turn both knobs of the faucet as far as they will go until water is splashing into the basin and onto the sink rim. I grad the bar of soap and with it clasps between my hands, I push them under the water until foam is seeping between my fingers. Holding my breath, I bend over, scrubbing at my already raw face frantically. Hearing the shallow rumble of his quiet voice in the other room, I rinse, splashing, sending a sheet of water down my face. Opening my mouth and sucking in air, I turn both knobs again, water dripping from my eyelashes. My hand finally finds a towel hanging from the wall-mounted hook, and I dry my face. Looking up in the mirror, I swallow disgust seeing my light brown face now a bright pink. Moving quickly, I run to my room, and struggle to lift the damned dress over my head. Finally throwing it to the ground with frustration, I run over to my closet, and sigh. If he can't accept me for what I am then it was never meant to be, right? Wonder how quickly he'll change his tune, when he sees that I'm dressed in a t-shirt and jeans? Yanking a black t-shirt off it's hanger, I shove it over my head, and pull it down into place. Also yanking a pair of jeans, I bend over, pulling one knee up, and shoving my leg into the pants. After teetering then falling over from lose of balance I repeat with the other leg, grunting. Slipping on a pair of sandals, I begin to run for the door, but stop upon remembering that my hair is still shellacked to my head. With a growling sigh, I stop in the door way, place my hands at the base of my head, and run my hands up to the tops. I then flail my hands back and forth loosening the tightly bonded strands. It isn't working, because my fingers are still getting stuck in fused knots of hair. Running quickly back to the bathroom, I can hear that they have stop talking and I can only assume they are wondering why I keep jetting between the hallway. Turning the sink back on, I shove my head as far down as it will go, letting my hands massage the gel out. Grabbing at the same towel again, I rub my head, and the excess water falling onto my face. Throwing the towel once again to the floor, I stand again in front of the mirror. I'm about thisclose to faking my own death to get out of this. I'll just make some vomiting noises, and pretend to be too sick to explain. Why did I think I could make the best of this?  
  
"Jamie, get your ass out here!", I hear Letty scream, like she knew what I was thinking. Is it fate, or is it Satan trying to trick me, trick me into his evil plan for heartbreak? My hands begin to shake again, and I begin to wring them, closing my eyes. Relax.relax. I'm standing on the beach in front of the villa, waiting for my mother to call me in..relax...breath the salty air streaming in, taste it as it hits your tongue..feel the warm glow of the setting sun, hear the crash of water on rocks..relax..Jamie.relax. Breathing in, my hands slow to a barely visible tremble then stop all together. Opening my eyes I yanks my hands to my sides and roll my shoulders back. Looking at the girl in the mirror that's being entirely too hard on herself, I give her a small smile, and exit the bathroom. 


	7. Anywhere but here

Journey 7  
  
Approximately one hour into the "date" things are moving along like a fiber diet. No snags or horribly embarrassing moments as of yet, but the night is still young. He's talking about safe thing.. cars, surfing, NYC, and for this I am thankful. See, guys believe it's really impressive to ask you about your home life, or about your deepest darkest wishes desires or secrets, like telling them you sucked your thumb throughout Jr. High is a real good ice-beaker. Dominic obviously has it all figured out.thank God. I'm not sure though, why he has it figured out, that is. Is it because he's just intelligent, or he's been through enough women to know? Now, if I genuinely thought he liked me, that thought may have disturbed me, but because I'm still questioning why he took interest in me, it's highly amusing. I break into a smile, as he stops in the middle of his sentence. His mouth also curling handsomely.  
  
"You find the crime rate in New York amusing?" He lifts his glass, playfully pursing his lips.  
  
"No..I was just thinking of..something..funny...that happen last week." I piece the sentence together as it comes to me. I wasn't paying attention, and he knows it. His eyes narrow at me, a smile still apparent, before drinking from the glass at his lips.  
  
"I mean.I can make the conversation more interesting, if that's what you're trying to achieve." He challenges sitting his glass down. I swallow, blinking slowly. Now he wants to move into the dark territory.great. He doesn't seem like a bad guy though, so I shift in my seat, sitting my elbows on the table, and plaster a serious look on my face.  
  
"Be my guest." I accept, softly, tilting my head momentarily. The waiter steps to our table suddenly, and we both lean for him to take our used plates. He offers refills and we both decline. He leaves after telling us the check will be along shortly. Dom takes the napkin form his lap, and lays it in front of him across the table. I can tell he's thinking about his next move.  
  
"Tell me what you want." He finally stills in his chair after leaning back, his arms crossed, his face taking on a menacing shade. I smile, partly because I don't understand that demand, and partly because it's a little funny to hear beautiful ask man me what I want.  
  
"What?" I scrunch my face slightly, smiling, and hoping that scary stare will fade soon. Last thing I want is to piss him off. He takes a deep breath, his eyelashes falling as he looks down for a second. He licks his lips, making them glossy and pinker than before, and then looks back up at me, coming out of his offensive stance, and leaning in on the table.  
  
"Jamie." He starts, his voice dropping in pitch and volume.  
  
"Tell me what you want." He says softly, his eyes almost pleading for something, his voice making my skin numb. For a moment, I almost take the low road, and interpret his demand as sexual, but seeing his eyes, I know better, but I'm still unsure. "What do you mean?" I lean in over the table also, my hands clasped together in my lap.  
  
"You laugh at me when I'm talking." He smiles his voice unwavering as he starts.  
  
"You barely eat.and I know for a fact that you didn't even want to some with me tonight." He continues, his smile fading from amused to concerned. My heart drops a little, following the track of this roller coaster it's been on since meeting him. I didn't mean to offend him, and I couldn't just tell him I was thinking about how many women he's been with, not laughing at him. And the only reason I didn't want to come was because.well.I.didn't think he really liked me. My shoulders slump realizing what an ass I can be sometimes. Not like the guy has given me a reason to be cynical. I haven't even given him a chance. That's how deep rooted my cynicism is, I didn't even give him a chance. No wonder I'm alone.  
  
"I.I didn't mean..to..well.I did want to come tonight..I just." I can't even look him in the eye, as I try run for cover. I continue to mumble pieces of an explanation before the waiter bringing the check stops me, and I curse myself softly, reaching for it out of reflex.  
  
"My treat." He lays his hand on top of mine, making my ears ring burn with rushing blood. I'm sure my face is now a warmer shade. I nod slowly, mumbling a thanks, feeling like shit.  
  
"Just tell me what you want, Jamie" He says again, slipping money into the book, and laying back on the table never taking his eyes off me.  
  
"You don't want to be here..or with me.so just tell me what you want, and I'll make it happen" He sighs, waiting for an answer.  
  
"No.I do want to be with you," I blurt, feeling even more low, and immature.  
  
"Then let's go.we can do whatever you want" He pleads, softly, finally smiling again, causing me to mimic him out of relief.  
  
"Whatever I want?" I ask softly, grinning slightly.  
  
"Whatever you want." He nods, looking into my eyes almost challenging me. Doesn't he know better?  
  
"Okay.let's go then.." I stand from my seat after nodding back at him. He stands also leaving a tip, and walking behind me.  
  
"Oh." I stop once we reach the parking, and turn to face him, as he nearly crashes into me.  
  
"I get to drive" I wink, holding my hand out for his keys. He laughs bearing his dazzling white teeth, and fishes inside his pocket slowly, purposefully, as I fake impatience with a sigh, Finally bringing them out of his pockets, he sits them in my hand, with a warning glare.  
  
"Be careful." He adds, in a low tone, walking over to the passenger side. I laugh loudly climbing in, hoping he' up for ride. 


	8. Once you dig in

Journey 8

"Should've know this is where you'd take me" He laughs kicking up sand as he walks behind me towards the water. Only a sliver of light remains as the sun slowly descends. The air is clean, and bites at my skin, carrying grains of sand.

"Where else would I want to be?" I ask softly, turning to wait for him, stopping to watch as he discards his shoes, dropping them carelessly.

"To tell you the truth, I'm a bit relieved." He grins, walking to me. He stops and takes a deep breath, his chest and shoulders doubling in size. I breath with him, smiling, feeling calmed by our peaceful surroundings. We stand for a moment, just looking at each other, the wind flattening my hair to one side, before he walks past me out to the water. I turn and watch as he stops at the tide line, and begins to slip off his shirt.

"Whoa…what are you doing?" I walk to him, shaking my head. He drops his shirt in the sand and looks at me with a confused smirk.

"Swimming" He offers like I'm dumb for asking. I shake my head again, looking down, but catching a nice glance at his toned upper body.

"The water is freezing right now…. you'll die" I tell him flatly. He laughs deeply, licking his lips, and I see his hands move to his belt, whipping the leather strap from the buckle.

"And whoa…. whoa…. are you taking off your pants?" I turn around quickly, flushing from embarrassment, looking up at the sky, my body tensing.

"Yes…. yes I am" He muses, and I can hear his zipper fly down, and the soft thud of his pants hitting the sand. This is all moving a little too quickly. I can barely look him in the eye with out turning red, and now he expects me to carry on while he stands there in his under wear…if he even has underwear on.

"Have you lost your mind!?" I whip back around and almost loose balance upon seeing a mass of hard skin, and I'm more than tempted to look down, but I know my sanity depends on me keeping my eyes as far north as possible.

"No" He whispers taking a small step towards me. I can feel my chest begin to burn with anxious, curious energy, and my stomach tries to flee to my throat.

"We can take a little cold water…right?" He reaches out and grabs my hand giving is a small squeeze. The world as I know stands still for a moment as my brain tries to stay solid after registering all that's happening. I exhale a small breath, looking into his eyes. My ears begin to burn again, as my skin goes feverishly hot.

"I promise to keep you warm" He adds, after not hearing an answer, leaning in closer to my ear for a moment. He looks down searching my face with a hopeful smile, oblivious to the meltdown going on inside me. The seconds worth of warmth from his breath paralyzes me, rendering me unable to speak, think, breath. I close my eyes, begging my body to work.

"Ok…but if we die…I'll ask God to send you back as plankton" I whisper finally finding some strength. I open my eyes just in time to see him smiling at me.

"Fair enough" He nods, stepping back a little.

"I'll even turn around while you get undressed" He winks grinning broadly. He turns away from me, and I sigh telling myself it's all going to be okay. I slowly slip my shirt over my head, noting how amazingly wide and smooth his back is, as he swings his arms back and forth lazily. I take off my sandals and toss them behind me. I try to steady my shaking hands to unbutton my jeans, suddenly feeling very self-conscious. Taking in a deep breath I push them down my legs as quietly as possible watching him the whole time to make sure his eyes stay forward.

"Ready?" He asks, obviously hearing my jeans fall, and slowly begins to turn around.

"No!" I yell panicked, putting a hand out against his back, and covering what I can with the other. He freezes but turns his head back to the water, his body language conveying confusion.

"Umm….umm…let's…stay facing that way….and walk forward" "I try to think of a plan to get me to the water unseen.

"Oookaaay." He draws, tilting his head to the side, still very confused. He begins walking, and I keep my hand on his back, staying close. We finally reach the frigid water, as it swirls around our knees and he stops.

"Are you oka…" He begins to turn around again, and I wince, scooting up behind him, now flush with his back effectively stopping him from turning around. Holy fuck, he is solid. I can feel him relax and he cranes his neck to look at me. Huddled against him holding his shoulders, I smack on a smile of embarrassment looking back up at him.

"You okay?" He raises an eyebrow, and I can tell he's hiding laughter. He has definitely figured out my plan.

"Great….but let's go in a little deeper….there are umm….fish….biting fish in the shallow waters" I spurt, nodding. He doesn't believe me, but he's nice enough to just play along.

"Better?" He asks, as we now float a few hundred feet from shore. I break away from him, being sure to keep everything below my shoulder under water. His arms float out to his sides, as he turns to face me. I can feel his legs steadily treading, the current pushing at my body gently.

"Yes" I say quietly, before letting my head slip below the water for a moment then reemerging, shivering a bit and wiping my eyes. The breeze that flows right above water is always crisp, and with a wet head, everything feels even clearer. Like my mind is so alert and unobstructed it's almost surreal. The sky is dark indigo now. Houses lining the shore down from where we are and the glowing moon are our only light. He dips below, coming up with a sheet of water sliding down his face past his smile.

"This is not too bad right?" He laughs, bringing a hand to out of the water. He shakes it behind him to dry it a little before wiping excess water from his eyes. Still, when he opens them, they are red from the salty water.

"Sure…but when shock sets in you'll be whistling a different tune." I laugh, looking into his poor bloodshot eyes, as he blinks rapidly. His eyelashes cling together in groups; water droplets perched on the ends of them. I begin to shiver visibly, wanting to hug myself, but needing to keep afloat.

"You okay?" His voice comes out as a whisper, moving closer to me. I revel in the small bit of warmth that was expelled from his mouth nodding, and flapping my arms slowly at my sides. He starts moving again leaving only a few inches between us. Although apprehensive, I'm thankful for the small amount of heat being given off. This moment is what I would kill for. Being so close to someone so beautiful, and so strong. Why can't I let myself enjoy it? Why do I always think the worst? It's become more than a defense mechanism, it's a burden. He's searching my face for something. He's so close now, if I breathe in deep enough, our chests will make contact.

"Yeah" My voice is breathy and hoarse, the cold setting in. He continues to search, and I can see his hand emerge from the water with a blue tint, dripping and slowly coming towards my face. His fingers are cold, yet his touch still it melts my confidence. I tense immediately, drawing in a quick breath through my nostrils and slamming my eyes shut. I can feel his fingertips retract without hesitation. I keep my eyes close for a moment, almost hoping he'll put his hand back despite my unconscious rejection. When it doesn't come, I open them again with a heavy heart to see him looking past me at the shore.

"I'll race you…" He says suddenly in a low firm tone. I turn my body and push my arms forward to float beside him, looking at the shore.

"I'll race you to the car" He adds, turning his head to look at me, an unreadable mood plaguing his features. I stare back at him, my defenses instantly going back up, with a calm measured glare.

"When I win, what do I get?" I raise an eyebrow at him, slowing down my arms to conserve energy.

"Whoever wins…" He's sure to emphasize that it's anyone's race.

"Chooses their prize" His eyes fall and run over my face before looking back at the beach.

"The first to gather their clothes and touch the car…wins" He raises an eyebrow back, in a challenging tone, and extends his hand form the water. I nod and shake it, readying myself for a race I can't afford to lose.

"Ready?" He smiles faintly, in a mocking tone, and I nod at him. For seconds, I can feel him staring at my head, and all I can hear is our breathing.

"Go" He whispers, and we both shoot forward into motion. Getting in a rhythm with my breathing and strokes, I don't realize that there's no one beside me. I don't remember him passing me, and unless he knows a shortcut through the ocean bottom, I'm not loosing this one. Reaching shallow water, I stand only to be nearly knocked over by the breeze hitting my wet body. Goose bumps spread like wild fire over my skin, and my nipples become taught. Panting from exhaustion, I stand for a second over my clothes, struggling with my lungs, before picking them up and walking tiredly to the car and throwing them on the hood. I'm positive there's an immense amount of saltwater irritating them by now. My nostrils burn along with my eyes. I place my palms on the hood and stand, my head hung, gulping mouthfuls of air, still freezing, but too exhausted to put my clothes on just yet. My muscles feel like they could ignite my skin at any second.

"You're fast…" I can hear more labored breathing behind me.

"You let me win," I say quickly between gulps.

"Maybe…but I'm definitely the winner here…this is the best view I've seen all night" I can here his laughter brewing under the surface, and am immediately compelled to get dressed, no matter what my muscles say. I grab my clothes and walk quickly to the back of the car with a hand splayed across my ass.

"No need to hide…I've seen it all now" He peeks behind the corner, as I scoot further over giving him a glare of spite.

"Weasel…rat…CHEATER!" I yell sneering, tugging my clothes over wet clammy skin. Smoothing my hair back, I walk back to the front of the car.

"Forgive me?" He smiles, that damn dazzling smile that makes me want to fall at his feet. Much better than that cold displaced look he was throwing me earlier. Without thinking I begin to apologize for brushing him off and trying to explain.

"I'm sorry about tonight. I like you…I do…I just can't make myself stop questioning your motives" I confess. Where that came from, I'll never know.

"Then why don't you ask me what they are?" He states looking me in the eye, all humor gone. He breaks eye contact to pull on a wife beater he grabbed from the car. I fold my arms across my chest to hide the evidence of how cold I am.

"What are your motives? Why are you doing this? Why are you leading me on?" I keep my eyes level with his. No use for aversion now, it's all out there, no turning back. I take a deep breathe and wait for his answer, wait for him to reject me, wait for him to call me cynical and cold, wait for him to tell me the truth. Either way, I'll at least learn something.

"Why do you assume so much?" He starts, sitting on the hood of the car shaking his head. I remain silent. He takes my silence, and sighs, continuing.

"My motives were…are innocent. You seemed…seem like a nice person, into cars, fun to be around…is it a crime to be interested in someone similar to you?" He asks, an annoyed look on his face.

"This is my prize…I ask the questions…you answer them" I state, walking to sit on the hood beside him. He scoots closer, no doubt to see how far he can push me.

"Go on" I nod my head once smiling. He shakes his head and grins.

"I'm doing this…because I like you…I want to spend time with you…I wan to know more about you…" He stares intently at the side of my head, as I take in everything. His voice is steady, no jovial wavering that would signal humor. He is telling the truth. Oh god.

"And…I am not leading you on…every action, every word…every touch…is earnest Jamie" His voice trails from hard to soft, concerned, and sincere. Oh god. I turn to look at him, the pessimist in me praying that he's hiding a laugh…a smile…crossed fingers…anything. He's looking dead at me when my eyes meet his, his smoldering stare quieting all my insecurities. I swallow hard and push the lump back long enough to whisper one last question.

"And what would your prize have been…had you won?" He smiles for a second hearing my question, before leaning closer to me. The next thing I feel is his downy lips gently pushing, slightly sucking at mine. My mind quickly begins debating the pros and cons, before my body shuts them up, expelling a soft moan inside my mouth. The heat of his face is scorching and completely erotic, as his lips begin move away. I open my eyes, feeling somehow colder.

"I'm sorry…" He stares at me with an apologetic gaze, licking his lips. I don't know why my confidence is surging again, but I'm sure it's from tasting his lips. Without thinking, because thinking never got me this far, I plaster my lips again to his, and his hands fly to my waist to keep us from rocking. Taking the chance to open my mouth this time, he doesn't let me down, and my lower stomach bursts into flip-flops feeling his tongue slither into my mouth. My whole body reacts, pressing closer to him, becoming heated, and sensitive to every single touch. His mouth is roasting and damp, his lips slowly sucking at mine. And as quickly as it started, it's over. No good kiss is ever long enough.

"I wasn't expecting that…", He swallows, still holding my waist, blinking rapidly.

"You assume too much" I echo his words, still longing for another kiss. He rewards me with a smile, and a quick kiss, pulling back with a smacking noise. I stare at him for a long moment, trying to still my mind, trying my best to just let it be.

"So what happens now?" I ask him, with a sad smile, needing to know desperately.

"Whatever you want" He takes my hand in his, showing me with his eyes that he's game if I am.


End file.
